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My fiancée told me that my 6 year-old daughter won’t be allowed to attend our wedding. My daughter is everything to me. She will be allowed on my special day. How should I respond?
Psychotherapist in Private Practice

I am aware that you asked for an answer – not judgement, so I ask you, too to believe that what I am about to say is not coming from the place of judgement. So, here goes: your daughter is not everything to you.

If she legitimately was, you would not find yourself in love, and wanting to marry a person who has the idea that allowing or not allowing your daughter to come to your wedding is even negotiable.

If your daughter was ‘everything’ to you, you would not hesitate to have a very straightforward, adult conversation with your fiancée, which would go something like:

“Darling/my love/sweetheart/honey/baby/[name], I am responsible for my daughter: she didn’t make herself – my ex and I, did.

She lost her family, because my ex and I broke up, through no choice of hers, which means that, whether you and I like it or not, as adults, we owe, a lot to this girl.

I wish that the circumstances were different. I wish you and I can have our wedding day to ourselves, and to our love, only – without anything from the past being brought into it. But being a parent means having the responsibility that goes beyond yours and mine love for each other.

The same goes for marrying a parent: by marrying me, you take on the responsibility to my daughter. This is why it is so important that you, my darling/my love/sweetheart/honey/baby/[name], and I are clear about what our marriage means. I moved away from my ex – my love belongs to you, and to you alone, but I have no moral right to move away from my children/my child”…

So, what I am trying to say, is not that you don’t love your daughter – I am saying that you seem quite confused, yourself, over what is what: what are your responsibilities, and what are your rights – or the other way round. Your daughter, naturally, is an extension of your confusion in regard to your own position in life, and in love.

What secrets are you hiding from your parents?
By:   Sanjana Anand


I have several deep secrets which I hid from my parents.

  • I smoked regularly during my college days, especially in my final year. Sometimes 3 in a row. Now I smoke occasionally.
  • I drank occasionally in college with just beer and wine but now I drink regularly. Friday nights are spent drinking Vodka and getting drunk.
  • Whenever you call me and ask if I am fine. I just say I am fine but in reality I am not.
  • Feel lonely most of the time and gets depressed about it.
  • I cry a lot in solidarity.
  • I had a severe mental health crisis couple of months ago. I was taking therapy sessions and I am ok now to some extent.

Mom, you think of me as a good girl. But I am not 🙁 and I did all the things u said not to do. But I am good in a way that I don’t hurt others.

Be kind to others. Cheers

What can I learn in 1 minute that will be useful for the rest of my life?

By:  Mathew P. Vanderburg


1. If your home smells fishy for no reason, 9 times out of 10, it means there is an electrical fire.

2. If you ever feel like someone is following your car, turn right four times and it will eventually circle. If they are still behind you, that means they are following you. Don’t drive home, just call the police and drive to the police station

3. If ever an assistance dog approaches you without its owner, follow it and do it quickly because you could potentially save someone else’s life.

4. If someone tries to take you away, fight back. Most kidnappers will simply give up if they encounter resistance. And whatever you do, don’t let them take you away.

5. If the tide suddenly goes out unexpectedly, run like you’ve stolen it, for higher ground.

6. If you are ever attacked by a moose, get behind a tree…they have a blind spot of about ten inches and they will lose you…

7.When people say to take an aspirin to help during a heart attack, chew the pill, don’t swallow it whole. It is absorbed much faster.

8. If someone asks you for something on the street – a light, the time, whatever – always keep the person in your sights. So if they ask you the time, don’t just look at your watch. Raise your arm slightly so your watch is in view.

9. If you’re in danger or need help, in a public place, it’s almost always a bad idea to just shout “help.” It is more important to be precise. Pointing at someone and telling them to call 911 will be more effective. The bystander effect can sometimes be cruel.

Vote if you found it useful.

I was fired on Wednesday, and they want me to work on Saturday. Is that fair?

By:  Kent Aldershof

“Fair” is not an operative word here.

They cannot ask you to work on Saturday or any other day, because you are no longer their employee. Presumably, they did not give you an “effective date” of your firing, so Wednesday was your final date of employment.

However, you can voluntarily accept a work assignment as an independent contractor. If you are willing to work, tell them you will be glad to work, for let us say twice your previous pay rate. So if your previous salary was $52,000 per year, that was $1000 per week or $200 per day — plus benefits. Charging $400 per day as an indepedent is entirely reasonable.

They may agree, but then get cute and actually give you check for $200, your old rate, at the end of the day. And, with a sneer, tell you to sue them if you think you are entitled to anything more. Which of course would hardly be worth the effort in Small Claims Court. To prevent this, tell them you want a $400 check, or cash, before you start work on Saturday morning. That may be a big and busy day for them, and they really need you, so they will have the money ready before you begin work.

Make sure too what hours you are expected to work on Saturday. If the workday ends at 5:00, then you don’t want to get suckered into cleanup and restocking and tool maintenance, or travel back from a remote site, dragging on into the evening. Just walk out the door at 5:00. Or agree that you will work OT for $100 per hour (or fraction), again payable in advance.

I’m sure that they now regret firing you so abruptly. But show them there are no hard feelings — that you will be glad to do your previous tasks, for twice your prior pay rate or 4X for working any OT.

I’m 23 and moving out. My dad is trying to take my car because it’s under his   name, but I paid for it and I am still paying for it. Can he take it from me since he is technically the owner on paper?

By:   Eileen Wood

Yes, he can. He’s the legal owner.

If the car loan is not in your name, stop paying it if he takes the car. Let him make his own payments.

If he wants to sue you, take copies of your payment receipts, registration receipts, gas and maintenance receipts, etc. to show the judge. Then Dad can explain why he’s taking a  car you’ve been paying for all along